DPO 13 & BBT Steady

Could it be? We took another HPT this morning and the "test" band was faint. So not positive and not negative? We're trying a new HPT from here and they are not the most intuitive test to interpret. But, on their website in the FAQ section it posts the following:

Q: If the test band is faint, is the pregnancy test positive?
A: positive result will always be indicated by the presence of a distinct color band in the 'test' region of the pregnancy test strip or midstream test (accompanied by the presence of the 'control' band). If the test is faint (in comparison to the control band), the test may be positive, though the presence of hCG in the woman's body - or urine sample - may be low. The presence of hCG doubles every two days in a pregnant woman. In cases where a faint test color band is present, we recommend that you retake the test the following day using first morning urine. Again, following test instructions is critical.

So, we may be reaching here, but that translates to "we could be and the H's HCG may just be low". Here is why I think we might be:

• H's BBT Dip on DPO 10 could have been the "implantation dip"
• H's BBT is staying steady above the coverline
• The "test" band on the first HPT on Thursday was very, very, very faint. We both thought that maybe we just "wanted" to see a band but it wasn't really there so we dismissed it.
• The "test" band on today's HPT is still faint, but definitely noticeable

What does this translate to? We wait. If AF doesn't show up by Sunday Morning and H's BBT remains steady, we test again on Sunday.

BBT & Triphasic Pattern

H woke me up this morning in a panic. Yesterday her BBT dropped to just at her coverline. I didn't get a chance to ask her what her temp was before work, so I pinged her about 5 minutes before both of us had to run to a meeting. She pinged me back with 97.7...a number that instantly made my heart sink. For the rest of the day, we secretly mourned this cycle in and out of meetings.

This morning, H was sitting on the edge of the bed with her usual "why are you still laying here when there is a crisis happening" look. The first words out of her mouth? "I haven't walked the dogs yet (This is my queue that the morning routine is about to change). My BBT was 98.4." I failed to compute where there was a problem with this. We are at DPO 11, so the higher the BBT the better. H and I were so convinced that with the BBT drop yesterday there was no chance we were pregnant. H wasn't really prepared to think otherwise, so I can understand why it might be more of a shock to the system if this means we are pregnant.

We did take a pregnancy test. It's a little unclear how to "interpret" the results, but we're fairly certain it's negative. So, what does the spike in BBT mean? Could this mean that we are pregnant but the test failed to pick it up? I'm totally lost! Our only explanation is to blame it on the cat.

Third time's a charm

So another round of insemination's is done! We inseminated Saturday morning & today. Hopefully, we got the timing right this cycle. This time around we were more patient, waiting until we got the green light on both the FM & OPK.

I think we were more relaxed this time after last month's fiasco. What a disaster and waste of the little swimmers. Oh well, at least it was a good learning experience. Who knew my body could be so unpredictable? Looking back on last month I think we had too many variables working against us. Let's list out all the changes before last month's insemination, shall we? 1: Stopped doing Bikram Yoga 2. Changed Pre-Natal vitamins 3. Started Evening Primrose. I know that these aren't big changes, but at 35 you never know.

This month was a different story. Not as many changes. I added back vinyasa yoga but not my beloved bikram. I had hoped to start acupuncture but getting a referral from my lovely HMO doc proved to take longer than expected. In addition, C has been monitoring my heart rate during our little runs like a hawk. Now that we've inseminated she said that she's going to make sure the G*armin goes off at 140 bpm and not the 148 bpm it's set at now. urgh...I'm going to be walking up a bunch of hills! I know...I know....I got to take it easy. It's just so hard when you're use to running & yoga as an emotional outlet and then you have to cut back. Anyone have ideas how to do this outside of exercise?

Oh...and on a side note I get to go in and get my progesterone levels checked on day 21. Should be fun! I'm actually excited to see what the numbers look like. If their low the doc wants to start doing progesterone suppositories.

Well, that's all for now. Baby dust to everyone out there that's TTC this month.

Oh, one more thing...C broke the speculum during this morning's insemination (I'll spare you the details, but use your imagination...it was quite entertaining. It took us a few minutes to stop laughing and get back to "business"). I think it's from all the vinyasa!

Peace.

Don't Dwell Just Gel

H and I did power this morning. My, oh, my...this is why I love yoga! I feel like I'm high on harmony! It's like getting a super massage, but internally...an oil change for the body. During the class the teacher kept repeating, "don't dwell, just gel". What a great mantra to start the day, and, well, quit frankly, our third cycle attempt.

Here we go again

Yep, that's right it's CD 4. I'm not surprised. We knew that when all my little fertility gadgets hit peak on CD 19 we got the timing all wrong. I can't imagine what it would be like if you didn't use a FM or ovulation sticks during this process and you depended on CM or BBT. It would be so much harder. Each month you would think that you timed it just right only to be disappointed.

The plan this cycle is to inseminate on FM peak day and the day after. We promised each other that we wouldn't jump the gun and inseminate early regardless of what my cervix or CM looked like on a given day. This time our plan is to be patient, try Vitex, a little acupuncture, and get back into a regular yoga routine. Getting pregnant is a full time job.

Here's a link to my chart for those of you that love stats. I know I do.

http://forums.ovusoft.com/chart.asp?id=allfortino

CD 18

Somehow I feel responsible for us inseminating early. It's my body, shouldn't I have a better clue as to what's going on? The months before we started TTC the FM hit peak on day 13 or 14 and my cycle was between 25 & 26 days. Now that we started TTC my body as gone haywire. I really didn't think I was stressed about getting the timing right but now I'm not so sure. Last week during a run I got super tense in my upper back and it lasted through the weekend. Getting more painful each day. To a point where I was taking hot showers to loosen up my shoulders. I thought it was from running when I was tired but now I think I was incredibly stressed out about the whole process. Why can't this be easier? I'm so frustrated, sad and disappointed at the same time. I feel like I've been doing everything right. I exercise, I've given up caffinated coffee, I don't have junk food, and I don't drink. What more can I do? We want this more than anything!

BBT Dip

I have a love-hate relationship with the FM. Today, I hate it! H woke up this morning and her BBT dipped really low...the lowest she's logged since we started charting. I think we were both convinced that damn thermometer was broken because we took it four times. According to TCOYF, "it is believed that this usually occurs on the day of ovulation and is the result of high levels of estrogen pushing the temperature down."

To top it off...the FM hit peak. H has had numerous months where her FM reading stopped at "high". But, she's never showed signs of ovulating past day 16. The key word here is NEVER! We inseminated when her cervix was open, high, SOT show lot's of ferning, CM was spinning...but, OPK was neg and FM was high. The swimmers were sitting inside of a seven day tank and we were running out of days, so we had to do something. Since H has not always hit peak on the FM in the past and all the other signs lined up, we went for it. I can't fucking believe it...a drop in temp, FM reading is peak, and I'm sitting here sperm-less and blogging. I'm trying to stay positive, honest. If it wasn't for the fact that I feel sick to my stomach, I think it would be easier. I think we totally missed our window. If only I had access to an unlimited amount of sperm and/or DTD wasn't frozen and stored 2500 miles away. Why does it have to be so fucked up?

At Home Insemination: Ten Things I Learned Part II

Why do books, brochures, documentaries make the Insemination process sound so easy? A little planning, a donor, the swimmers, choose a method, a squirt and you're done. If only it were that easy!

Adding to my list of things I've learned:

1. Shipping vials of sperm across the United States is expensive and incredibly stressful. For one thing, unless you upgrade to the "two-week" tank or pay for overnight shipping, the specimens are only good for 7 days from the ship date. This time H and I opted not to upgrade the tank or shipping. The vials shipped on the 4th, arrived on the 6th, and were "good" until the 9th. H ovulated on the night of the 8th! Can we time that any closer?


2. "Timing of the ICI procedure is very important, as it should be performed around the time of ovulation to increase the chances of conception." Right, no problem! What are the odds that the FM and OPK are both positive, there is signs of ferning, the cervix position is low, CM is spinning, and the fast lane is wide open, all on the same day? Oh, right, Zero, Zilch, Nada...can that really happen?


3. Shot glasses make excellent vial holders for thawing! They also work well in keeping the vial in a safe place while you run through your "checklist" and get things ready. Lube? Check. Lamp? Check. Pump air out of Syringe? Check. Entertainment? Check. Latex Gloves? Check. H? Check.


4. H and I opted to use a speculum during insemination. Inserting a thin and flexible catheter through the hoo-hoo until it reaches the cervix is harder than it sounds. The speculum makes it easier to "see" what's going on. WARNING: A fully lubed speculum will "stay" in place if you hold it. Letting go at any time could result in someone loosing an eye.


5. For an ICI, you're suppose to place the "swimmers" just before the cervix opening but not inside. Exactly how much is "just before"?


6. If you have long hair, ALWAYS wear your hair up or pulled back. It's dark enough "down there" that you don't need your hair getting in the way.


7. Some "swimmers" will collect on the tip of the speculum. If you want them to travel towards the cervix and not away, it will require some acrobatics as part of both the inseminate-tor and inseminate-tee.


8. Inserting air, no matter how little, will result in hoo-hoo fluffs.


9. If you have any pets (dogs/cats), keep them away from the "clinic"...Hoo-Hoo's smell interesting enough on their own.


10. It's easy to return the Nitrogen tank. It comes with a postage pre-paid label and all you have to do is call to schedule for a pickup. Just leave the tank out on the porch and like magic when you return home from work, it's gone. WARNING: Leaving a suspicious item resembling a rocket on your porch will get the neighbors talking.

ICI #2 is now out of our hands. I feel like we've timed this one right and done everything we can possibly do to make this happen. The process was much easier than the first time. It's almost as if I was a professional...okay so I'm stretching, but I was definitely more confident. It's funny...we wait 13-16 days to Inseminate, only to turn around and have to wait some more. Now we start the TWW...I should be a couple pounds heavier by then, since cooking/baking/eating is one of my favorite coping mechanisms.

Saliva Ovulation Predictor Tests Part 2

I've been using the Fertile F*ocus ovulation microscope for about a week and let's just say I'm 'challenged'. I've been having the hardest time getting the correct amount of salvia on the lens. The instructions say to put a 'drop' of salvia on the lens and let dry 5-10 minutes. Hello...have you ever tried to put a drop of salvia on a tiny lens at 5:30 AM? Either I put too much, not enough or it has air bubbles. I've now decided on a new tactic. I'm waiting until my eyes are open to at least slits to preform the test. Apparently, clear vision is helpful. So lesson learned.

It's a fun little gadget when you get it right. Two thumbs up and affordable. You can get your very own Click here to order

Posted by 'H'

Saliva Ovulation Predictor Tests

H and I recently discovered the Saliva Ovulation Predictor Test. When H first told me that she read this article about how you can use your saliva to determine when you ovulate, I thought she was crazy. But, it turns out, it's true! Who knew!?!

As far as I can tell there are a couple of brands that make the ovulation microscope. We purchased the Fertile-Fo.cus ovulation microscope earlier this month. We started testing last week and so far, it's a piece-of-cake. There's a bit of a learning curve to figure out how to use the darn thing, but once you have that nailed down it is easy to read. Due to hormonal changes, a distinct crystal or "ferning" pattern becomes present in the saliva. We just started testing so we haven't seen any ferning as of yet, but so far it has been easy to distinguish between the not fertile and transitional stages. You have to put enough saliva on the slide otherwise it will be difficult to read. H has found that a "puddle" in the middle works well, especially if you let it dry for 5-10 minutes. So far, this little toy is amazing...let's just hope it helps us get pregnant on our second try!

Posted by "C"

I have a confession

I love, love, love garage sales. I know...it doesn't sound extremely odd but it's what I get at them that may be considered a bit weird. My little secret is that I buy baby clothes, toys, books, blankets, etc. In the area where we live we have fabulous garage sales. Our little community (suburb) is your typical neighborhood. We were lucky enough to find this cute little townhouse on a cul-de-sac and we love it. Sorry, I digressed... Anyhoo, a few miles in any direction are these new neighborhoods with these huge houses (these are easily million dollar homes). In these ginormous houses are families with apparently too much new or barely used stuff and they love to have garage sales. I LOVE IT!!! I found this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2957926 for $30, never used!!! We also found this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2880921 never used for just $5. The mother excuse was she got too many at her baby shower and just never found time to take them back. Can you believe it? So, I'm hooked. I never thought I would be buying baby stuff before I was actually pregnant, but I just can't seem to pass up these deals. So, for anyone that lives in the Se*ttle area, go to craig* list and check out the garage sales on the eastside. Some of the best ones are the community garage sales. I'll be heading off to a few myself this weekend. I have a budget of $30. I can't wait to see what I find!

Posted by 'H'

CD 1

Well really today is cycle day 2. It all began yesterday morning. I got up and decided to take a HPT since I was technically 1 day late for my period. The results were negative but we were still hopeful. I insanely convinced myself that the box of HPT that we had gotten at B*rtell's was defective.

After the test we decided to go to the gym. I played around on the elliptical for about 30 minutes barely breaking a sweat. (because lately I think I'm breakable, I normally love a hard workout!) Then I went to the restroom and low and behold....I started my frickin period. I just sat there on the toilet starring at my underwear. When I finally left the restroom 'C' could tell the moment she saw my face. We left the gym and sat in the car and I cried. My emotions were so mixed. I felt such extreme disappointment & relief at the same time. The relief was from fianlly knowing something!

The TWW was killing both of us. I never imagined it would be so hard. Any little twinge or ache in my body I would over analyze and in previous months I would probably ignore. argh!! I have such extreme admiration for couples/women that have been TTC for months and even years.

So, we wait...officially on cycle 2 of the TTC rollercoaster.

Home Pregnancy Tests

Today is CD 26 and 13 DPO...and we're still hopeful! We promised ourselves that we would wait through today before we tested again. H is convinced that if she does another HPT first thing in the morning, her hCG in her urine will be "stronger" so the results might be more accurate.

The National Women's Health Information Center website posted similar information:
"The amount of hCG or pregnancy hormone in your urine increases with time. So, the earlier after a missed period you take the test the harder it is to spot the hCG. If you wait one week after a missed period to test, you are more apt to have an accurate result. Also, testing your urine first thing in the morning may boost the accuracy."

We are both very hopeful...it's not over!

Wishin' and Hopin'

I think I should stop reading all the TTC blog stories...they're starting to freak me out! I have waves of panic throughout the day, when I think about all the different stories I've read. Some of the stories are funny, some are happy, and some are down right sad! I've been trying not to think too much about the "bad" stuff, but I will go though phases where that's all I can think about. What if we're not pregnant? What if we are and we lose the baby? All these "what ifs" can't be healthy. I try to dismiss these thoughts as soon as they come into my mind, but then I start to worry that I've thought about them too long and we're doomed! This is crazy! I'm going to go on a blog diet if I don't get a hold of myself.

This TWW stuff is agonizing. I swear I light up like a Christmas tree for every symptom H shares with me. There is a part of me that secretly (I guess it's not a secret anymore) wishes that she would show signs of morning sickness just so I can say, "see it's not PMS!". To make matters worse, we've been analyzing her side profile like crazy. I swear it looks different, but I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. I've been trying to write it off as bloating, but deep down I want it to be the signs of a miracle happening. This may sounds strange but since the moment we committed to having a baby, I've never doubted for a second that it would happen. I think H is tired of me saying "It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when". Yet, as we wait for the cycle due date to come, we've been praying like mad that we'll be one of the lucky ones...that the stories we share will all have happy endings.

At Home Insemination: Ten Things I Learned

1. The Nitrogen tank is not as scary as you would imagine. Believe it or not, you do not need to call in Jack Bauer (for those 24 fans, you know what I mean) to "defuse" it.


2. There is no need to panic when you read the instructions on how to handle the tank and it reads, "DO NOT lift the crane higher than the neck...or premature thawing may occur". My first thought? "What the heck is a crane? The only crane I know of are long-necked birds!" The long metal rod inside the nitrogen tank that holds the cryovials is called a "crane".


3. Cryovials (the vials the specimans come in) are about a 1/2 inch tall. It's hard to imagine that there is enough semen in there to do the trick, but it only takes two!


4. Next, you have to thaw the little swimmers. The instructions for thawing the forzen vial are SCARY! "Place the frozen vial in a water bath...temperatures exceeding blah, blah will severely decrease motility." Um, yeah, I went with the natural thawing process recommended by several books.


5. There is an pretty elaborate vial color coding system associated to each specimen to distinguish racial group and specimen type. They also include a "Specimen Report Form" to record the number of motile sperm. Hmmm, I wear glasses, but apparently that doesn't cover examining the specimens microscopically.


6. Operating the handle of the speculum with lube on your hands or the handle is tricky! Having a towel handy is highly recommended.


7. It is difficult to hold a flashlight with your ear and use a syringe at the same time, so I recommend a desklamp. It's definetly dark "down there". I wonder if a headlamp would work!?!


8. A catheter fits easily on the tip of a syringe...if you take the cap off first!


9. The cervix is a tempermental little bugger, so patience is required. H gently reminded me that "it" doesn't understand "words", especially profanity.


10. H won't "feel" any different afterwards, so asking her "how about now?" every five minutes is not a good idea.

Posted by 'C'

Are you kidding me?

Sunday (Mother's Day) was supposed to be the big day. We were all set to try our first at-home insemination. C had practiced with the syringe and catheter. It took us a bit to figure out that the tip of the syringe comes off and you can snap the catheter into place... who knew!?! We apparently missed that instruction when the doctor was demonstrating the tools we were to use. urgh! We started monitoring my cervix with a speculum on day 6 of my cycle and I was to start ovulating on day 13-14; just like every other month for the last 8 months. So, wouldn't you know that when I woke up on day 13 the fertility monitor and ovulation test stick were a 'no go'. We checked my cervix and it was still not open. Hmmmm...not ovulating today. I wasn't concerned because I've seen this in the past. I figured that I would peak on day 14...no problem!!

Then the next morning I woke up and tested. I must admit that I was a bit anxious this time around. In the past, I didn't worry too much about the monitor or ovulation stick results...I just documented the results and went about my day. So, I sat on the toilet waiting for the results. The ovulation test stick was done first. First off, let me just I say that I hate these sticks! It's a guessing game. At any rate, it appeared to give me a positive read for ovulating. Now the fertility monitor. Okay...so it was done, popped out the stick and.................'Low'....... WTF?!? I've haven't had this problem in 8 MONTHS. So, I told myself not to panic... Ok...no worries. I'll just wake up C and see what she has to say. We decided to check my cervix.... Hmmm, looks wide open and I had oodles of mucous. (slight TMI, but valuable info) So, with that we decided to try our first insemination. It went off without a hitch. whew!

About 14 hours later we investigated my cervix and decided to do our second insemination for this cycle. My cervix was open but not as wide. We were concerned that if we waited until we tested on the fertility monitor again it would be to late.

The next morning I woke up and tested on the fertility monitor.......and the results were........peak! So, we checked my cervix again and it was wide open like the first day but with not as much mucous. (I know, I know, TMI) ARGH!!! Now we're worried that we inseminated too early!!!

Now the wait begins. C keeps asking me if I feel any different. I think it's going to be a long 10 days. I usually have a 25 day cycle so unless my body decides to defy me once more we should have an answer by Memorial Day weekend. Wish us luck!


Posted by 'H'

I Boiled It!

Have you seen the movie "If these walls could talk 2"? The part 3 scene opens when Fran (played by Sharon Stone) realizes that she is ovulating. Kal (played by Ellen DeGeneres) rushes out the door to the donor company to pick up the sperm. On the way home, she seat belts the nitrogen tank in into the passenger seat and carefully drives at a snails pace home, stalling traffic and yelling out the drivers side window to a neighboring car that 'I have sperm'. The scene goes on to illustrate several different insemination attempts. This little scene in the movie is the closet you can get to the real thing in mainstream society (minus the actual turkey baster scene).

I think we all can relate to this scene in one way or another. Whether it be your first attempt or your seventh, whether it be at home or in a doctor's office, we all go through a variation of the emotions portrayed in this little clip.

Enjoy!






Posted by 'H'

Home Delivery

9:49 AM: As I write this post, and I'm sitting here waiting for FedEx to deliver our sperm. The specimens were shipped from Austin, TX. on Tuesday and are scheduled for delivery sometime today. I've been excessively tracking the "package" since 5:30 AM this morning. I went to yoga this morning, came home around 8:00 AM and according to the tracking details, it arrived at the Issaquah FedEx facility at 7:30 AM. I could run down the hill and walk back with the 28lb nitrogen tank faster than it's taking for them to drive it up the hill to my house. Of course, I would probably make CNN headline news: "Woman starts carrying baby preconception".

10:05 AM: As I was writing this post, there was a knock at the door! I was so convinced that it was FedEx that I bolted down the stairs, jumped over the baby gate and swung the front door open without looking through the peep hole. There was an elderly woman (probably in her late 70's or early 80's) standing on my doorstep. She's definitely not the FedEx man! This calls for a screenplay of the events that transpired:

A STRANGER WITH NO SPERM by C

C
(looking inquisitively) Hi
Stranger
Are you Donna Mclaughlin?
C
Who?
Stranger
Donna Mclaughlin
C
No. I don't know a Donna.
Stranger
Are you sure?

C raises one of her eyebrows in annoyance

C
Yes, positive. What address are you looking for?

The stranger indicates that she has the directions in her car, in which the front wheel is parked on C's grass. She nearly stumbles to the bottom of the stairs, shuffles through a bunch of papers in her front seat, and pulls out directions from yahoo.

Stranger
(looking over her glasses and pointing to the address on the paper) This is the right address. Are you sure you're not Donna?

Thinking to herself, C wants to say "Look lady, I think I know who I am. I'm not Donna and you're sure as hell not the FedEx man!" but she holds back.

C
I'm sorry, I don't know a Donna in the neighborhood.
Stranger
What should I do? This is where I was told to go. My friend Donna's husband past away before she moved here.
C
Is there someone you can call?
Stranger
I'll have to call my friend
C thought to herself "I hope your friend isn't Donna"
C
Do you have a phone?

The stranger whips open her cardigan to reveal a cellphone strapped to her belt. "Wow! Pretty hip grandma", C thought.

C
Why don't you give your friend a call and see if you have the right address? I'll look up the directions for you.
Stranger
Thank you! Let me call Donna.
C
Did she just say Donna? Okay, sounds good. I'll be inside if you need help.
Stranger
Do you mind if I stay here?
C
No

C watched through the peephole as the stranger got back into her car and dialed her phone. A few minutes later she got out of her car and headed back up the porch. C met the stranger at the front door.

C
Did you get an address?
Stranger
She lives at Providence Place. Do you know where that is?
C
Never heard of it. Do you have an address?

The stranger pointed to the address on the paper and handed it to C. C went back into the house to google her directions. She entered the information into the computer and waited for the directions. It says there's no such address. "Great! Now what am I going to do with her?", C thought. C found Providence Place and printed those directions and took those outside.
C
Well, it says that address doesn't exist. But, I did find Providence Place on the map and printed those directions.
Stranger
Thank you, Sweetheart! You've been so helpful.
C
You're welcome. You should be armed and dangerous now...have fun!
Stranger
I hope God delivers you something special today.

"Oh, he will" C thought! Hopefully a hot FedEx man and a tank full of sperm!

C
Bye now

12:45 PM: Still no FedEx! I've taken the pups out back for a potty break, made lunch (Tomato Soup & A Grilled Cheese Sandwich - YUM!), and have been chatting with my partner, H, while she slaves away at the office. She spent the morning in meetings and now we're chatting about a diaper bag she saw up for auction. Every year our employer holds a Silent Auction, whose proceeds benefit United Way. Items are donated by each department and employees can bid on any item.

1:12 PM: It's here, It's here! So, the FedEx man was not hot, but he was nice enough to carry the tank inside for me. He asked if I was H and then gave me that inquisitive eye when I said "No, but she lives here".

Here is a picture of what the specimens come in:

Posted by 'C'