DPO 13 & BBT Steady

Could it be? We took another HPT this morning and the "test" band was faint. So not positive and not negative? We're trying a new HPT from here and they are not the most intuitive test to interpret. But, on their website in the FAQ section it posts the following:

Q: If the test band is faint, is the pregnancy test positive?
A: positive result will always be indicated by the presence of a distinct color band in the 'test' region of the pregnancy test strip or midstream test (accompanied by the presence of the 'control' band). If the test is faint (in comparison to the control band), the test may be positive, though the presence of hCG in the woman's body - or urine sample - may be low. The presence of hCG doubles every two days in a pregnant woman. In cases where a faint test color band is present, we recommend that you retake the test the following day using first morning urine. Again, following test instructions is critical.

So, we may be reaching here, but that translates to "we could be and the H's HCG may just be low". Here is why I think we might be:

• H's BBT Dip on DPO 10 could have been the "implantation dip"
• H's BBT is staying steady above the coverline
• The "test" band on the first HPT on Thursday was very, very, very faint. We both thought that maybe we just "wanted" to see a band but it wasn't really there so we dismissed it.
• The "test" band on today's HPT is still faint, but definitely noticeable

What does this translate to? We wait. If AF doesn't show up by Sunday Morning and H's BBT remains steady, we test again on Sunday.

BBT & Triphasic Pattern

H woke me up this morning in a panic. Yesterday her BBT dropped to just at her coverline. I didn't get a chance to ask her what her temp was before work, so I pinged her about 5 minutes before both of us had to run to a meeting. She pinged me back with 97.7...a number that instantly made my heart sink. For the rest of the day, we secretly mourned this cycle in and out of meetings.

This morning, H was sitting on the edge of the bed with her usual "why are you still laying here when there is a crisis happening" look. The first words out of her mouth? "I haven't walked the dogs yet (This is my queue that the morning routine is about to change). My BBT was 98.4." I failed to compute where there was a problem with this. We are at DPO 11, so the higher the BBT the better. H and I were so convinced that with the BBT drop yesterday there was no chance we were pregnant. H wasn't really prepared to think otherwise, so I can understand why it might be more of a shock to the system if this means we are pregnant.

We did take a pregnancy test. It's a little unclear how to "interpret" the results, but we're fairly certain it's negative. So, what does the spike in BBT mean? Could this mean that we are pregnant but the test failed to pick it up? I'm totally lost! Our only explanation is to blame it on the cat.

Disappointing Maggie

Oh, crap...I overslept this morning! H usually gets up before me (yes, she is by far the more responsible one) and takes the pups for a morning walk. While she is gone, I usually set things up for the morning, throw on some running clothes, get the Gar.min ready, grab Maggie's running gear and meet her on the porch. This morning...I totally overslept! I never oversleep!

H sat on the edge of the bed and gently nudged me awake. I think she was "annoyed" that I wasn't up yet, but got over it once we agreed to forgo running. Maggie's a different story...I could here the tags on her collar jingle downstairs. She knows what days we run and what days we don't. She's smart and gets pretty "bummed" if we alter our routine. Sorry, Mags...I don't know what happened. I guess I'm just tired. Maybe we can go for a little jaunt after work...key word here is little.

Great, first I was having conversations with my thoughts and now I'm having them with my dog. What's next!?!

Peace Out.

Tides of Emotion

Yesterday H and I were in the kitchen talking about "things", when I had a sudden realization that we only have four donor vials left. This, however, is not a bad thing...but, for a brief moment it scared the bejeebees out of me. I have moments like this on a regular basis...like clock work. But, during this TWW, I've learned how to acknowledge them and promptly dismiss them. "Yes, we do have four vials left. This is true. One of those vials will be our child's brother or sister. Now, calm the fuck down and relax. We don't need to worry about that right now."

I don't know what is worse...having conversations with your thoughts or admitting it and writing about it. Either way, it seems to be working. So, we're on DPO 6 and I'm feeling relaxed about the whole thing. It's not like we can do anything to change the outcome...we just don't know the outcome. Yet.

Cycle 2: Day 27

Today is day 27, 8 DPO. This time last month I had already started my period. I can see that my body is not going for any type of consistency. Not that I'm a planner or anything. I guess it's good that my cycle is going longer since I ovulated so late. Pregnancy symptoms??? zero, nada... not a single thing. Well, unless you count a sinus headache. Oh well.... at least the TWW this time around isn't nearly as stressful as last month. We're convinced that we got the timing wrong so I've not had the added stress of thinking about the 'what ifs". That's not to say that we haven't talked about the possibility that I may still be pregnant. It's just more of a distant hope. Also, I think our new game plan with exercising has been helpful. Last month not being able to do a variation of my normal workout routine was driving me batty and dangerous for C. Poor C was walking around on eggshells because the lack of exercise was making me so bitchy. Exercise is just a great way for me to release all my pent up energy & stress from work.

In other news C's older sister is visiting and we told her we're trying to have a baby. She was genuinely excited for us. whew! It was such a relief for C. She's been dreading sharing this part of our life with her family because they are just so darn conservative but it was all for nothing. C's sister T can't wait to be an Auntie. Not that she doesn't already have a zillion nieces and nephews. She's so excited about the possibility of actually being involved in our little one's life. So, one of C's siblings down only 5 more to go. 2 of which are Evangelical Christians with 18 kids between them. Our current plan is not to tell any of the other siblings until I'm actually pregnant. I don't want them praying for our souls while we're in this process. We need positive vibes from the universe.

Well, got to go find out what's for dinner.

Peace out!

CD 1

Well really today is cycle day 2. It all began yesterday morning. I got up and decided to take a HPT since I was technically 1 day late for my period. The results were negative but we were still hopeful. I insanely convinced myself that the box of HPT that we had gotten at B*rtell's was defective.

After the test we decided to go to the gym. I played around on the elliptical for about 30 minutes barely breaking a sweat. (because lately I think I'm breakable, I normally love a hard workout!) Then I went to the restroom and low and behold....I started my frickin period. I just sat there on the toilet starring at my underwear. When I finally left the restroom 'C' could tell the moment she saw my face. We left the gym and sat in the car and I cried. My emotions were so mixed. I felt such extreme disappointment & relief at the same time. The relief was from fianlly knowing something!

The TWW was killing both of us. I never imagined it would be so hard. Any little twinge or ache in my body I would over analyze and in previous months I would probably ignore. argh!! I have such extreme admiration for couples/women that have been TTC for months and even years.

So, we wait...officially on cycle 2 of the TTC rollercoaster.

Home Pregnancy Tests

Today is CD 26 and 13 DPO...and we're still hopeful! We promised ourselves that we would wait through today before we tested again. H is convinced that if she does another HPT first thing in the morning, her hCG in her urine will be "stronger" so the results might be more accurate.

The National Women's Health Information Center website posted similar information:
"The amount of hCG or pregnancy hormone in your urine increases with time. So, the earlier after a missed period you take the test the harder it is to spot the hCG. If you wait one week after a missed period to test, you are more apt to have an accurate result. Also, testing your urine first thing in the morning may boost the accuracy."

We are both very hopeful...it's not over!

Wishin' and Hopin'

I think I should stop reading all the TTC blog stories...they're starting to freak me out! I have waves of panic throughout the day, when I think about all the different stories I've read. Some of the stories are funny, some are happy, and some are down right sad! I've been trying not to think too much about the "bad" stuff, but I will go though phases where that's all I can think about. What if we're not pregnant? What if we are and we lose the baby? All these "what ifs" can't be healthy. I try to dismiss these thoughts as soon as they come into my mind, but then I start to worry that I've thought about them too long and we're doomed! This is crazy! I'm going to go on a blog diet if I don't get a hold of myself.

This TWW stuff is agonizing. I swear I light up like a Christmas tree for every symptom H shares with me. There is a part of me that secretly (I guess it's not a secret anymore) wishes that she would show signs of morning sickness just so I can say, "see it's not PMS!". To make matters worse, we've been analyzing her side profile like crazy. I swear it looks different, but I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. I've been trying to write it off as bloating, but deep down I want it to be the signs of a miracle happening. This may sounds strange but since the moment we committed to having a baby, I've never doubted for a second that it would happen. I think H is tired of me saying "It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when". Yet, as we wait for the cycle due date to come, we've been praying like mad that we'll be one of the lucky ones...that the stories we share will all have happy endings.