At Home Insemination: Ten Things I Learned

1. The Nitrogen tank is not as scary as you would imagine. Believe it or not, you do not need to call in Jack Bauer (for those 24 fans, you know what I mean) to "defuse" it.


2. There is no need to panic when you read the instructions on how to handle the tank and it reads, "DO NOT lift the crane higher than the neck...or premature thawing may occur". My first thought? "What the heck is a crane? The only crane I know of are long-necked birds!" The long metal rod inside the nitrogen tank that holds the cryovials is called a "crane".


3. Cryovials (the vials the specimans come in) are about a 1/2 inch tall. It's hard to imagine that there is enough semen in there to do the trick, but it only takes two!


4. Next, you have to thaw the little swimmers. The instructions for thawing the forzen vial are SCARY! "Place the frozen vial in a water bath...temperatures exceeding blah, blah will severely decrease motility." Um, yeah, I went with the natural thawing process recommended by several books.


5. There is an pretty elaborate vial color coding system associated to each specimen to distinguish racial group and specimen type. They also include a "Specimen Report Form" to record the number of motile sperm. Hmmm, I wear glasses, but apparently that doesn't cover examining the specimens microscopically.


6. Operating the handle of the speculum with lube on your hands or the handle is tricky! Having a towel handy is highly recommended.


7. It is difficult to hold a flashlight with your ear and use a syringe at the same time, so I recommend a desklamp. It's definetly dark "down there". I wonder if a headlamp would work!?!


8. A catheter fits easily on the tip of a syringe...if you take the cap off first!


9. The cervix is a tempermental little bugger, so patience is required. H gently reminded me that "it" doesn't understand "words", especially profanity.


10. H won't "feel" any different afterwards, so asking her "how about now?" every five minutes is not a good idea.

Posted by 'C'