Wednesday, June 11, 2008

CD 18

Somehow I feel responsible for us inseminating early. It's my body, shouldn't I have a better clue as to what's going on? The months before we started TTC the FM hit peak on day 13 or 14 and my cycle was between 25 & 26 days. Now that we started TTC my body as gone haywire. I really didn't think I was stressed about getting the timing right but now I'm not so sure. Last week during a run I got super tense in my upper back and it lasted through the weekend. Getting more painful each day. To a point where I was taking hot showers to loosen up my shoulders. I thought it was from running when I was tired but now I think I was incredibly stressed out about the whole process. Why can't this be easier? I'm so frustrated, sad and disappointed at the same time. I feel like I've been doing everything right. I exercise, I've given up caffinated coffee, I don't have junk food, and I don't drink. What more can I do? We want this more than anything!

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3 Comments:

Blogger Michell said...

I so remember the first (and second, third and fourth) home insems. I remember thinking before I did it that everyone who did the insem before having a positive opk was not getting it. Then when I had my super spermies and no positive opk despite it being later than I usually ovulated all thought went out the window and I second guessed everything. Adding the fertility monitor and CM etc all in to that mix and all the variables were enough to make me certifiable. Hopefully it wasn't too far off for you both. Good luck.

June 12, 2008 at 7:02 PM  
Blogger Michell said...

oh and when I used to ship the tank was "good" for 7 days but it would usually be fine for more than that if I wasn't opening it regularly.

June 12, 2008 at 7:03 PM  
Blogger Travelher and Pufferfish said...

I know what you are saying. Even when you aren't doing it yourself, there's always the second guessing.
This just isn't an exact science.

As far as giving things up: Wow. Yes, I've given everything up and have primed my body physically for one year to get myself in the best shape possible for this pregnancy and what happens? My straight party-crazy friend who drinks, does drugs and smoke pot for the first two months and wishes aloud that she would miscarry b/c she didn't want to be pregnant, has a healthy baby boy. And of course she's overjoyed to be a mother now.
I kind of hate her.

June 16, 2008 at 6:49 AM  

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