At Home Insemination: Ten Things I Learned Part III

Continuing with my tradition here, but honestly, if we don't get pregnant soon I'm going to run out of "things" to learn! Okay, okay, so maybe I won't "run out", but it's starting to become a challenge to actually think of 10 things. Does that mean we can consider ourselves seasoned in the Home Insemination department? Wouldn't that be nice! I know I said this last time, but this time we nailed peak city. Yep, little bugger,we got you pegged...and you think you can just come and go when you please...Ha!

Well, here it goes:

1. I have to give props to my yoga teacher. His mantra of "Don't Dwell, Just Gel" made a world of difference for me. This might be come as a surprise , but I have a heck of a time not obsessing over things (a little something I hear is called letting go). This time I stopped praying to the fertility Gods and just let it be. Now I just need to keep it going through TWW...is there a TWW God I can pray to?
2. I need a damn post it note pinned to my cerebral cortex reminding me that if you "back out" the speculum before inseminating, you don't get a pool of swimmers stuck on the lip! Once the swimmers are stuck, it takes some serious acrobatics to "un-stick" them. I'm apparently challenged in this department, and I think H is tired of having to do "Insemination Yoga" on a monthly basis.
3. No air - no Hoo-Hoo fluffs...amazing!
4. Deep, supple and long breathes in is a pretty effective way to move the swimmers towards the cervix and not away. It also helps with point #2, should your reminder fail to go off.
5. You don't need to eat your Wheaties beforehand to be on top of your game. I skipped breakfast and I was still able to break the speculum. Who needs to weight train when you've got yoga?
6. The Ovulation Microscope is NOT the type of microscope recommended to check the mobility of the swimmers. I had to try...it was right there.
7. Neon "bendy" straws will further enable the serious of serious decaf coffee (a.k.a Star.bucks in the Northwest) addicts. A person can safely drink their "latte" while laying on their back with there knees up.
8. The i.Phone is a miraculous invention...apparently one can surf the Internet, catch up on all their blog reading, and buy shoes all from one little device. The magic device is also much "lighter" than a bound book. This is apparently useful when you have to elevate your arms up for extended periods of time.
9. The aroma from baking home-made Buttermilk Biscuits will lure even the most crabby morning people out of their "cranky pants". H is not one to bolt out of bed with a smile on her face, much less be all that thrilled to have to inseminate...but, biscuits are a powerful source of happiness, especially if equipped with butter and jam.
10. Laying a blanket over elevated knees will make an awesome tent...for cats! Note to self, be sure Suzie (the cat) is well feed and sunbathing in the other room.

Well, that's a wrap for ICI #3...now we wait, again. Wish us luck!