Thursday, June 19, 2008

34 Years!

My sister (ex-sister-in-law, actually) and her moms made the news! The Be.e published an article about her moms getting married. Laura is the "estranged" daughter in the article. She was married to my brother (divorce was final last week), who is the mystery man behind what is being described as her "anti-gay attitude".

The article describes the last 15 years in three sentences... "She joined his church, the now-defunct Davis Fellowship of Christ. They married, and she followed in his ways. When her husband blocked the entrance to abortion clinics in Sacramento, she was there to sing. Meanwhile, her mother was escorting women into the clinics." I remember this time all too well! It was about the same time H and I started "exploring" our friendship. It was a tumultuous time for my family, Laura, her moms, and H and I were caught smack-dab in the middle.

H and I have known each other since High School and have been together ever since. Since the moment there were "signs" that my friendship was more than just a friendship, my family has given us a significant amount of grief. I'm still puzzled as to what these "signs" where, but apparently our behavior had textbook homosexual tendencies. H and I were sixteen at the time and were more concerned with whether or not we had enough credits for our necessary college curriculum pre-requisites to be concerned that out "exploratory" behaviors were going to sentence us eternal damnation. While my brother was hell bent on saving my soul, Ellen was in the background supporting H and I. Ellen wasn't allowed within 500 feet of our home, her grandchildren, me, but if I needed to just talk to someone about what it meant to be gay, we would talk over the phone or meet outside of town. This was not an easy time for anyone, but times have changed.

Laura and I have since made our amends. She's come to visit H and I in Seattle on numerous occasions and we've talked allot about the past. She called me out of the blue about 8 months ago and poured her heart out. She was so apologetic for the way things were, but really she didn't need to be. My grievances have never been with her, and I've come along way in accepting my grievances with my brother. It's been rather easy supporting her through her divorce and she's returned the favor twofold. When my sister A (I have two) got married last September, Laura made it possible for me to spend time with my nieces and nephews, most of which I had never meet. In fact, it was the first time I had physically seen my brother in over 13 years. We barely exchanged two words and he kept a close eye over my interactions with the kids, but it was worth it. I don't think Laura realizes what an amazing gift that truly was.

I'm incredibly proud of her tenacity and support for her moms. So after so many years, I propose a toast! To Ellen and Shelley, may you be blessed with another 34 years and congratulations on your marriage!



Blogger Travelher and Pufferfish said...

Wow, what a story! Families are messy!

June 19, 2008 at 1:12 PM  

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